Xiaofen said to me:
"I never thought of this, but what you said was so real.
When I was with my husband, I couldn’t make up my mind to leave him because I don’t want to break the dream of a happy family.
My parents were separated when I was young, and I didn’t want my child to repeat the same mistakes."
This is what a consultant told me today,
Her words reminded me of a strange phenomenon in psychology-
Children who grow up in the unfortunate family environment often make their marriage life equally unfortunate.
It’s like history re -acting over and over again.
In them, I saw them the tragedy of their childhood,
Reappear on your children again and again!
Where can I say it?
Also give a case of a consultant.
To be precise, it is the husband of the consultant Xiaofen (the consultant of the previous article).
Derail: From today, I hope you will not suppress yourself anymore
Call this husband Wanshan.
When he was 9 years old, his father was discovered by his mother.
Since then, my mother has controlled her father’s money.
Every time my father go home, the first thing that mother is turning my dad’s pocket and see if there is any money in it.
In most cases, there is no.
However, once the mother pulled 5 cents from her father’s pocket, the mother yelled at her father on the spot.
It is said that Dad is going to hold these five cents to find someone else.
This incident was very impressed. Until when he grew up, he was still worthless for his father.
What kind of woman can you find?
Later, Wanshan entered the marriage and married Xiaofen.
Wan Shan vowed that he would not get his marriage as his parents, and he would get along well with his partner.
But Xiaofen has a problem,
As long as Wan Shan does not consider her existence in public, it will be angry.
For example, everyone eats together to chat with friends who are familiar with him without bringing small powder.
Wan Shan and her husband’s friends are not familiar with, and they can’t get anything. They can only sit stupidly and play with their mobile phones.
After Wan Shan, you must also criticize the small fans, saying that Xiaofen knows to play mobile phones, and does not know to say hello to others.
This will explode the small powder,
Xiaofen will quarrel loudly in front of her husband and friends.
Although everyone thinks that small fans should not be so excited, at least they should not quarrel with their husbands on the occasion.
But Xiaofen felt wronged, and wanted to vent.
Obviously, Xiaofen does not recognize her husband and their friends.
She felt that she was right because her husband ignored herself. She felt that she had disappeared and no longer existed.
That’s why you make such a move.
For Wanshan, of course, such a wife will be very shameful.
Who wants to quarrel with his wife in front of friends for no reason?
So there are any activities in Wanshan in the later Wan Shan, simply not with small powder.
This makes Xiaofen feel that he is not important for Wan Shan, he doesn’t care about himself.
So that sometimes Wan Shan is eating with friends, and Xiao Fan rushed over to push the door to make trouble.
Later, Wan Shan did not dare to let Xiaofen know wherever he went, and could only hide Xiaofen.
But Xiao Fan went directly to the company’s company.
Once I was in a hurry, Wan Shan even said to Xiaofen directly:
"Do you have to force me to death, so that all my jobs are gone, you are happy?
If this is the case, then I will not do it, I will resign.
Save both ends!"
Unconsciously, Wan Shanzheng turned his marriage as his parents.
Even when he was a child, he would never enter marriage like his parents.
But he eventually lived like this.
He felt that he couldn’t have a vision, and found a wife who was like a gum.
Do you want to divorce and find another one while you have no children?
Then he really found a woman who looked better,
There is no divorce yet.
In other words, Wanfang is derailed, like his dad.
In the last article, we mentioned that Xiaofan likes to hit people!
It started from this, and after finding that Wanfang was derailed, the small powder was fried.
In the presence of Primary Three, the old slap was given, of course, she was also spit out of disgusting.
After that, as soon as he quarreled, Xiao Fan rushed over to Lao Wan, scratching and biting.
The marriage is not separated from now on, and Wanfang will be beaten every day.
He couldn’t figure out why he had been trying to avoid it,
But do you repeat the same mistakes and be the same as your parents?
During this period, Xiaofen was pregnant.
After having a child, Wanfang’s angle of consideration has changed–
This is the case. Do n’t take your old way in the future!
When Wan Fang came to me for consultation, for a few minutes, I could feel deep anxiety behind his silence.
He is particularly worried about his current situation and repeat itself in his child.
So Wanfang especially hopes that I can tell him some ways so that the child will stop repeating the same mistakes.
Although this child has just been pregnant and has not been born yet.
Wan Fang sat there and didn’t know what to say.
Maybe he thought this consultation was opened by me.
I told Wan Fang, what I want to say:
Wan Fang said that he always dreamed of his father these days, and his father took him to Disney to Disney.
It was late at night after the dream came, and Disney closed.
But he was still very happy because he took the plane and came to Disney again.
He hoped that I would help him explain, what does it mean to do this dream?
What is symbolizing?
I didn’t rush to answer him, but encouraged him to say more.
He also said that these days, he always dreamed that when he was a child, he often went to catch shrimp ponds, but there were many animals he didn’t know in the pond.
These animals are strange and make him feel a little scared.
I still didn’t pick up Wan Fang, let him go and say.
Although I already have ideas in my heart, these dreams may be related to the expectations in his heart.
After talking about these dreams, he was silent for a while.
I also kept silent and put on a posture waiting for him.
Then I no longer talk about these "nothingness" things, and talked about the quarrel with my wife a few days ago.
He said that he quarreled with his wife a few days ago, because he showed some enthusiasm on the dining table and another girl.
She splashed my hot soup,
He also said in front of the people in front of the box and said that I was a scumbag.
I also said that I was really blind, and I had to fight the child when I went back.
Although the people around them are persuading, I can see that some people are watching my jokes.
Wan Fang’s words remind me of the previous consultation with Xiaofen.
Xiaofen said that since Wanfang’s derailment, she was very afraid of her husband would be tired of her and was afraid of being abandoned.
She said she was afraid she would not be a good mother.
Xiaofen also said that she became more and more aware of her distrust of others.
But she also said that she still didn’t understand some things.
For example, sometimes, she will trust her too much and be used by others, just like this time I believe Lao Wan, but he derailed.
In terms of educating children, the two husbands and wives are common ——
Wan Fang was afraid he would not be a good father, and Xiaofen was afraid he was not a good mother.
When I put forward this, Wan Fang was surprised for the first time.
Although he can also feel his wife’s small fans lack trust in himself since his derailment.
Never scolded.
But he never thought that Xiaofan would be like himself, worried that he was not a good mother (dad).
It is ridiculous, two people who are thinking about being a good father (mother).
But in the worst marriage environment (derailment), with children.
Wan Fang and Xiaofen are a little afraid of the future of this child. They are worried that this child will reproduce today’s situation again?
Do you have to face marriage derailment for a family and three generations?
I suddenly remembered that the practice of the consultant should be designed at night.
Let’s talk about it first. After the remaining content will be written after the consultation tomorrow.
I am Teacher Zhang:
After derailment, why do many people dare not divorce and fear changes?
